By: Kyle Austin

All too often we hear or experience people who leave the church or the faith because of the hurtful actions of someone in the church. Whether the hurt is verbal, emotional, or whether it goes as far as being physical, people experience hurt in the church.

Have I personally experienced hurt in the church? Yes. I've had people say and do things to me that I did not like that were very hurtful. When I was growing as a young Christian becoming a new member of a church, I decided to move closer to the pastor in order to pay closer attention. As a result, I was told that I was not welcome to sit in that seat because it had been their seat for twenty plus years and I needed to move. If that had been six months earlier, I would have been one of those that left the church because of the actions of somebody else! That has happened to me twice. We also experienced a very big issue that caused deep, deep hurt personally and also in the life of my family. It was years deep and to be honest I wanted to quit. I wanted to walk away. I can say to you that I understand how real and how hard the hurt can be.

Did you know this that Jesus experienced hurt from church members? Jesus was hurt by His disciples who were the first church members. Jesus was betrayed. He was sold out by His church members. He was talked about behind His back. He was lied straight to His face. Think about Judas pretending to be someone that he was not and all the lies he fed Jesus. Jesus was forsaken in His moment of greatest need by all His members. Jesus feels your hurt because He understands the hurt He felt from those closest to Him.

I may not be able to fix your hurt but I want to give you some truths I have learned personally that may help you have a better perspective or to gain a greater understanding on how to deal with the hurt.

Be careful not to place unrealistic expectations on people or the church.

I made this mistake early on. I did not grow up in church. When I became a believer I thought the church was going to be this perfect place. I was away from the world and the treatment I experienced there. I thought the people will act perfect. These are Christians, right? But that's not the case at all. You see, the church is made up of unperfect, messed up people. So they're going to have problems. I made the mistake of placing unrealistic expectations on people to treat me perfect and without any wrong doing but that's just not the case. Why? Because a church is a group of unperfect, messed up people who have voluntarily joined themselves together to carry out the Great Commission. Notice I emphasize "unperfect" and "messed up". We are believers and have been forgiven but we still have a sin nature that hinders us from treating and act perfectly all the time.

A church includes people who are at every stage of growth in their Christian life. You have some that are brand new to the faith. There may be some coming out of a life of addiction and so they're going to have some rough edges. You have some that are mature who have been growing in their faith. They've been a part of a church and they're living out Christ's teachings. You're going  have some that could care less about the teachings of Christ. You have some that may be backslidden. With this many messed up people there's a big possibility someone may do or say something to you that will hurt you.