By: Kyle Austin

I can totally see where a young person is coming from in asking this question. We have worked with college-age young people for years and have listened to them share their complaints and grievances. We have heard them share their desires to have a place for them in the church to be able to serve and make an impact but just sometimes can't find a place.

So is this question a reality? The fact that the question has been asked says that it is. I would say yes to some churches but to not all churches. I would say yes to some people in the church but not to all people in the church. In discussing this question. I want to be very careful not to assume this thinking on everyone or to stereotype all churches and all believers. I think the evidence is seen by what a church has for this age group. Is there a ministry specific for this group? Are there ways for singles to get plugged and serve? Are there many 18-30 year olds in the church? These signs can be key indicators to their value to a church. Everyone should be valued equally no matter the age or season of life. Individuals should be valued for the unique gifts that God has given to them and for the unique contribution that each individual can make to the entire family of God no matter what age stage they are in.

Culture seems to paint this picture that if you're married and have kids then you have finally arrived in life. So where does this cultural picture come from? If we were to rewind and go back to the 1950's (a long time ago right!) the average age to marry was 20 for females and 23 for males. Fast-forward 70 years later to 2020 and the average age to marry is 28 for females and 30.5 for males. We discover a great cultural shift for the age to marry which leaves a gap from about 18 to 30 years old of single young adults. This produces a large group to minister specifically to in the church. Culturally, it is possible that the older generation would have the expectation that a person should marry right out of high school and start a family. Some people may put this pressure on purposely because they are an older generation or maybe they're married and they feel you need to step up to where they are at. Maybe some people do it unknowingly just because of the picture that culture paints. Either way, a young adult should be valued for who they are as an individual and not for what stage in life they are in.

Can you think of anyone in scripture that has been used mightily by God who was a single young adult? I can think of numerous ones but here are a few: Timothy, the Apostle Paul, Mary and Martha, Nehemiah who rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem, John the Baptist who Jesus said there has not been a greater man born than him, Joseph In Egypt who saved the nation of Israel, Ruth, Jeremiah, and Daniel. Could God have used these people in the same way if they were married? Probably not because God was able to use them this way due to their singleness. Some of these would marry but some of them would not. Can I say that singleness is a God-ordained gift from God. Can I also say marriage is a God-ordained gift from God.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 speaks powerfully about this age group's value. It says, "And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction."

What Paul is saying here is that single young adults have a spiritual advantage over married people. Think about that! They have a significant spiritual value! This does not mean they can please God more but there is a spiritual advantage based on what commitments they have in life. A wife has a husband and possibly children to take care of and support. This requires certain time commitments and constraints. A single person does not have the same commitments with family as the married person. At the same time a single person has their own set of issues and things they have to take care of but it is different and therefore God says they have a spiritual advantage.

The value of singles is a question the church definitely needs to ask and answer for itself. Some churches are definitely missing a huge opportunity by not having something for and not showing value towards this age group. As a single young adult, work hard to show your value and to help eliminate this stereotype. If you are a married person please do not look down on singles or expect for them to get married to reach your life stage. Stop asking these questions repeatedly, "Have you found somebody yet? Are you dating yet? When are you going to get married? The "yet" reveals a level of expectation that a person has to get married to be considered successful in life.

Sometimes you may feel as a single that you are alone in a couple's world but know that you are not. God created you and has a perfect plan for your life. You have a spiritual advantage so maximize its potential for the Lord!